Log in

No account? Create an account
19 August 2012 @ 01:48 pm
DVD Commentary: Inappropriate Poetry  
np_complete picked an oldie, but, upon further review, a goodie, for me to examine and rip apart for you this afternoon.

It's a Donna/Jack NC-17 piece called Inappropriate Poetry. Nothing like porn to rev up your Sunday afternoon. You can find the whole fic: here

As always, if you would like to request a commentary of a fic of mine, I would be more than happy to supply one. The entry to ask for that is here.

Shall we commence?

Let's start with a little over-all meta. One of the things that bothered me most about the season four finale of Doctor Who was the way Jack reacted to Donna. Jack has always been appreciative of every form of beauty, and to me, Catherine Tate is probably one of the most beautiful women on the planet... both for her personality and her physical form.

I sought to rectify that mistake in the characterization of Jack with the writing of this piece.

"Oh, thank God," Donna said, bending over just a bit as she released the clasps on her bra and let her breasts sway freely. Deftly, she removed the garment from her body without taking off her t-shirt and flopped to the bed to stare at the ceiling. Many of you probably do not necessarily need to know this, but ever since seventh grade I have had larger than average breasts. What Donna does here, I can completely sympathize with. To go without a bra means agony, but there's nothing quite like taking it off at the end of the day...

"You've got gorgeous tits, you know," Jack said, conversationally from the doorway. I struggled with word choice here, as I recall. I didn't want to make this section overly crude, but then I didn't think that Jack would beat around the bush. And, having rejected "boobs" for being too immature, went with the least-offensive euphemism for breasts I could think of.

"Oi." Donna half-heartedly protested, but didn't make a move to cover herself up (why would she, she was still wearing the shirt, after all -- it wasn't like Jack Harkness had x-ray vision. That he'd told her of). "Don't you have Weevils to blow up or something, space man?"I specifically remember wendymr asking me when this was taking place and having no idea... but if you can imagine a parallel universe wherein the Doctor and everyone on board the TARDIS at the end of that episode did some traveling together, I think that'd be about right.

"Or something. Still -- it's hard not to be distracted." He gestured. "I mean, wow."

"I thought you fancied more of the sticks than the leaves," Donna said, closing her eyes and firmly ignoring him. Donna doesn't necessarily think well of herself. She's full of bluster to cover up the insecurities she has. Here she's deflecting his attention because it makes her uncomfortable to be complemented.

"Me? I fancy anything that moves." Jack stepped into the room and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Or didn't you hear that?"

"You know, for a bloke that's supposed to be shagging everyone and everybody you sure don't get around much," Donna observed. "In all the time I've known you it's all talk and no action." An observation I made about Torchwood. Jack makes allusions to being promiscuous, but we don't really see much of it.

"Keep taking your bra off in front of me and I'll show you action."

Donna laughed. "Yeah bloody right. Take a walk, Captain Jack Harkness. Blokes like you don't make passes on women like me, and more's the pity, that's what I say, but it's not up to me, is it? And you're getting awfully bloody close."

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant," Jack whispered. "When I say 'wow', Donna Noble, I mean wow." He was halfway across the room before she'd even had a chance to blink. "Can I..." he gestured at her chest, and Donna found herself blushing fiercely -- one of the things she hated most about being a redhead. Whew. Jack's a little smooth, isn't he? *fans self*

"Can you... what?" Donna hissed.

"I would very much like the opportunity," Jack said in his husky voice, climbing in bed next to her and somehow encompassing all of the free space left on it, "to play with your breasts. And your other... bits. If I may." And of course she says yes -- because, you know... why wouldn't you??
Current Mood: productiveproductive
NP-Completenp_complete on August 21st, 2012 01:48 am (UTC)
As I said once before, one of the best things about that story is that Jack likes Donna. He treats her with respect *and* enthusiasm.

Nothing's better (or sexier) than being with someone who really, really likes the person you are when you're not even trying. And who, more than that, thinks that person who you can't help being is really cool.